This week I’m going to apologize to photographers. I have minimal knowledge of how my camera works, and maximum apathy for the rule of thirds and all that. Any following of such rules is merely instinct or coincidence. Also, for a while my camera was on a weir setting where it would include more than what was in the frame or it was crooked, so whatever. Stop complaining so much, you’re getting annoying. Anyway, I also added the pictures from last week that I wasn’t able to access, and added sub categories to the Pictures tab so you can get to them better. The ones for this week are Kyoto, but I also added some that I missed last week from Nagoya, so check out both. I’ll indicate when new pictures have been added to a category since the last blog post. Many don’t have names or descriptions because I’m too busy and also I forgot what some stuff even is. A lot is just nature stuff, anyway. Also, Kyoto is in proper chronological order, but Nagoya isn’t. For the sake of easiness to follow, I’m working to get them all in that order. Now that that’s out of the way…
Are you ready, kids? I can’t hear you! (If you didn’t respond “Aye-aye, Captain!” to either of those, you disappoint me (unless you’re one of the parents, then I don’t really expect it, but I hope now you have the Spongebob theme stuck in your head)).
During the week we returned to Viva City (giant mall). We kind of did our own thing until the end we met at the game center. One of the games was a crane game where you could win a giant box of chips. Normally those games are impossible, but after we figured out the “trick”, we were able to get it twice. See the video (WARNING: quite a few F-bombs, so don’t watch it if you don’t like naughty words or if your mom doesn’t want you to). I just watched the video and realized it was the first time I’ve recently seen a video of me talking. It’s kind of weird… I also played a cool Pokémon game where you got special tokens of Pokémon you’d “caught”, which could later be used at one of those arcade machines to catch more. It’s an awesome money making idea, and I’m sad they never had something like that in America.
I’ve given up thinking that I’ll feel some delayed culture shock. One of my friends commented that she thought I’d been there because I seemed so comfortable with everything. Something from after high school must have triggered that allows me to adapt a lot easier in spite of the fact that I still hate anything ever changing ever. Foodwise, I’ve gotten into my usual pattern of just eating a few things, yet they’re almost all different from my “usual” things in America. We’ll see what carries over… One thing I thought I’d get used to quicker is the driver’s seat being on the opposite side. I keep seeing what I think are neglectful drivers, but then realize that 8 year olds aren’t actually driving. It’s all like Mirror Mode in Mario Kart, everything’s reversed (sorry my references are more for my age today, though a kid dyed his hair and eyebrows black and I said he looked like one of the Munsters. Does that help? Too old? How do I even know who the Munsters are? I honestly don’t know).
Friday
I got out of class and decided to get something to eat before I left. Thinking it would be quickest, I ran to the small restaurant next door. I ate, then realized it had taken longer than I thought, so I rushed to the station on my bike (which was hard because my legs hurt from all the other biking, and it was super hot). I parked my bike at the “garage” thing, then ran to the train. Right as I was reaching the bottom of the stairs, I see the train leaving. At first I was worried because the next train wasn’t coming for about 20 minutes, and I was supposed to meet Maki at Kyoto station. Luckily the next one was a “rapid” train (not bullet train), so I was only about 6 minutes late. First we went to Sanjūsangen-dō, which had 1000 (or 1001, I lost count) statues of the Thousand-armed Kannon. If you wanna see the inside, Google it. I wasn’t allowed to take pictures because it was a religious thing. I think Kannon is just self-conscious, so he doesn’t like getting his picture taken. I feel the same way. I tried explaining that I didn’t believe in Buddhism, so it was ok, but no one seemed to care. Inside I got a special “autograph” book. It’s like the ones you get at Disney, but you get a stamp and special writing for each temple you visit. Also like the Disney ones, I was told that the writing will be different depending on who does it at the temple. They also told us about a dude who was like Robin Hood/Green Arrow/Katniss/Hawkeye and was in a competition where they shoot arrows at a target for 24 straight hours, and he shot over 11,000 and hit the target over 8,000 times.
It was really sunny and hot like last week, however this time I remembered to use sunblock. Apparently the sun doesn’t like my milky white skin as much as the Japanese do… I’ve seen some people wearing those thatched cone China-farmer hats, but unfortunately I left the one I got at Epcot at home, so I can’t wear it (which is probably good, because it almost seems racist when I wear it. Like when we wore tea cups and pony tails for the Chinese song in the Nutcracker in elementary school…). For dinner, we went to a place that was literally (and I don’t use that term loosely) under the train tracks, so the entire place would shake every so often.
Saturday
We ate toast and salad (most of their salads are weird, why can’t I just get a normal Caesar salad? I never thought I’d have to be THIS picky about salad, but a lot of times it’s not even normal lettuce) at the breakfast place in the hotel. I “shocked” Maki when I took the packet of sugar and ate it straight. She said that I can’t do that, and as usual I replied, “of course I can, you just saw me do it.” Engoish is fun. So is English. Why didn’t I just go back and change that, you ask? Because then I’d have to move my hand a bit, and I’m comfortable and lazy, so this was easier. Wasn’t it more work writing all of that down? Probably, but it’s close to 1 a.m., so at this point my brain is more susceptible to incoherent babbling, and since this is my blog, I can force you to read all of it. It’s not like you have anything better to do. Sorry, back to the interesting stuff… First we went to Kinkakuji, the Golden Pavilion. This is the temple you often see in footage of Japan. It usually goes Shibuya Crossing (that big crosswalk in Tokyo that looks like a Japanese Times Square), Mt. Fuji, then Kinkakuji (and some Godzilla and Pokémon clips spliced in). It was a little cloudy, but it looked awesome. Near it was a smaller shrine where you could go throw money in a big donation box, ring some gong, say a prayer, and it would bring good luck. There was also a fun game where you tried to throw coins into a small pot. I hit the rim twice, but never actually made it. I was then told that it wasn’t actually a game, and it was another good luck/special prayer thing. That place is a money sink, and as I had no access to my own money sink (the kind where you turn the faucet and money comes out), I ended up being completely broke by the end of the day, so many of my activities were sponsored by Maki until I could find an ATM that worked for me. Next was Ryoanji, famous for it’s rock garden. There were 15 rocks and only one place where it was possible to see them all. We found the spot, though it was near impossible to take a picture because it was too wide and panorama looks weird. By the time we got to the next set of smaller temples, it had started to rain pretty hard. Since I hadn’t bought an umbrella that had a sword handle yet, I shared Maki’s. The next place had a few small shrines that we visited. Apparently it was the birthday of the guy who built one of the temples, so there was a special shrine, and I got a special stamp for my book. These temples weren’t as famous, but I took pictures of the explanations, so you can read those if you’re a nerd. The last temple we went to for the day was almost like a monk campus with various sub-temples. The main ones we went to were a temple with a giant dragon painting on the ceiling, and a bathhouse that was “dedicated” to the guy who killed Oda Nobunaga (the badass samurai warlord who conquered and united all of Japan). Again, we couldn’t take pictures of the dragon painting because it was a “national treasure”, yet . Again I explained that that was exactly why I wanted a picture of it. It was almost like the Sistine Chapel, but way more awesome cause dragons are cool. Depending on where you stood in the room, your perception of the dragon changed. On one side, it seemed to be coming from the sky, while on the opposite it seemed to be returning there. On one side, his eye appeared to be peaceful and happy, while on the other it seemed to be angry. It had taken 8 years to paint, and it’s even though it was painted X hundred years ago, it has never had to be restored. The colors are much duller than they used to be, but it still looked great. The whole tour was in Japanese, but I was able to read about a lot of it, and get occasional translations from Maki. There was also a bell that rang in the “Haung tone”, which is said to be the most beautiful tone. The original has a crack (unfortunately, Davy Crockett was not around to patch it up as he did the Liberty Bell (you forgot that song existed, didn’t you?)) so they use a replica and put the original on display along with a recording of it. Afterwards, we headed to the bus station, and once I got there decided to look for a place to go to dinner. I reached for my phone aaaaaannnnnnd it’s gone. Thankfully I’m the most calm and rational out of all my siblings (you know who you are), so after calming myself, I decided to go back to the temple we had just come from. On the way, my head was more clear and I remembered the Find My iPhone app. It was exactly where I expected, but the temple was closing soon (if it hadn’t already closed), so I had to rush. Once I got there, a lady saw me and yelled, “携帯電話？[cell phone?]” I followed her back to the office where they kept it and was thankful that I was in Japan where it’s 100x less likely that someone would steal it. My guess is that it slipped out of my pocket while I was sitting down. We went to dinner at a restaurant near Kyoto Tower which I let Maki pick and told her I’d just find something (and if not, I knew McDonald’s was right downstairs (though it closes at 9!! What kind of terrible place is this that Mickey Dee’s closes at 9 p.m.!?)). She showed me what she was getting, and I considered trying some, so I asked what it was. “Tongue” was her reply. I immediately knew I would not be trying it. “What kind of tongue?” “Horse”. She later realized that she had misspoken and it was actually cow tongue (as if that makes it much better). I explained that my refusal to eat tongue wasn’t my pickiness, but rather my Americanness. I said that most Americans would never eat tongue, not just me.
Sunday
I woke up my now usual time of 8:30 (I often cry myself to sleep knowing that I have to get up so early even on the weekend). We went to Kiyomizu Temple; here’s some useful tidbits from my good friend Wikipedia: 「The popular expression “to jump off the stage at Kiyomizu” is the Japanese equivalent of the English expression “to take the plunge”. This refers to an Edo period tradition that held that, if one were to survive a 13m jump from the stage, one’s wish would be granted. Two hundred thirty-four jumps were recorded in the Edo period and, of those, 85.4% survived. The practice is now prohibited. Beneath the main hall is the Otowa waterfall, where three channels of water fall into a pond. Visitors can catch and drink the water, which is believed to have wish-granting powers.」 I saw some guys dressed in tight shorty shorts (not unlike HG 
) and they were ripped. I later realized they were rickshaw drivers who would take people up the hill to the temple. The two roads leading to and from it are filled with souvenir shops. Luckily I’m very frugal and would never waste money on frivolous things. Hahahaha, just kidding, I got an awesome demon mask. I still have to figure out if it’s a specific demon… At all the temples, there are slips of paper called ‘omikuji’, which are like more detailed fortune cookies (but without the food). Maki gave me one a long time ago, and by coincidence it was the best possible. She got mad that it was better than hers. We had gotten two the day before (because it’s like a video game apparently; if you don’t like what you get, you just restart and try again. Both of my first two were normal, ok ones. But today I got the best one again (they’re not super rare, but not common at all, like a holographic Charizard)! If you get a bad one, you tie it to a special rack to get rid of the bad luck. In one of the buildings, you went in this basement and it was pitch dark. It was supposed to represent coming out of a womb or something. At the end was a big rock with a symbol carved in it, so you touch it and make a wish/prayer. In the main building, there was another donation box in front of a shrine where people would say prayers, and a drum that you sit in front of and just relax and receive luck or a blessing (it’s hard to keep track of what each thing gives…) and then hit the drum (not too hard, I was told). Luckily I’ve been practicing just sitting there and relaxing for years, so in spite of my occasional hyperactivity, this was an easy task. I’ve been to so many shrines and temples that I’m probably an unofficial Buddhist by now. Since I rarely go to church, if God gets too mad at me, now hopefully Buddha will put in a good word for me. I also saw some witches. I know that they were witches because they were gathered around a smoking cauldron. Also, one of them turned me into a newt. …I got better. At one of the entrances were three metal objects of various weight. Picking them up was, again, good luck (and yes, I believe this all stacks). Thinking I was stronger than I actually am, I tried the heaviest one (in spite of just seeing 4 middle school kids have to work together to do it). The main part of Kiyomizu (other than the view) was the special water that you drink from. For germaphobes, they had cups that you could buy and drink from. For everyone else, it was like a cup on the end of one of those golf ball retrievers. You put it under the falling water, pour it in your hand, then drink it. When you’re done, you put the cup thing in a UV cleaning thing to kill the germs. Then 2 other dudes helped so that we were able to pull it up. Since we weren’t too hungry and we didn’t want to eat when everyone else was, we first got kakigori (snow cone). I got strawberry, but it tasted more like cotton candy! It’s way better than American snow cones. In one of the souvenir shops, I saw the greatest two items ever. One was a pillow that says “Pee” (in Japanese it would be ‘pay’, if you don’t know that, review the “Learn” Japanese tab, but it was in English, so it’s pee), and the other was a golden swirly poo! In another, I got in trouble for taking pictures of some weapons, but it wasn’t my fault because the No Pictures sign was hidden. What am I gonna do with the pictures? Anyone can walk in and see them. Unless they’re afraid it’s like Best Buy and I’ll just buy them online…
Where will Curtis go next? What will he waste his money on? Who is the Phantom Renegade? Why is he asking all these questions? Find out next time on The Gaijin Chronicles! Dah dahh dadahhh da dahh duuhhh. (I made that song up, like it?)
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