The next morning Maki and I headed to the station to get breakfast before we all went to Ayutthaya, a city north of Bangkok. We couldn’t really find anywhere, so we got food from 7-Eleven (remember, it’s edible here) and I got some Dunkin’ Donuts (none in Japan). While we were waiting in the hot, dirty station, a cat walked by under the seats in front of us, turned around, and sprayed the bag with our food. Yes. Sprayed. This is why I hate cats. Outside we found someone who was helping people find transportation. Apparently it was a holiday and a weekend, so the train we planned on taking wasn’t running until way later. Instead she told us we could rent a taxi for the day for 600฿ ($18 (I got so good at multiplying by 3)). That was when we met Mr. Boy. Mr. Boy was the actual name on his business card, which he got from his love of cowboys. He was wearing cowboy boots, a cowboy hat, and a shirt with a cowboy, and even had a cowboy decal on the back of his truck. The six of us (including Mr. Boy) got in and set out for the almost two-hour trip to Ayutthaya.
I wish I had known a little more about the history of Thailand and Ayutthaya so that I could say, “This was the palace of the great Prince Abubu who defeated the Gerudo in 151AD,” rather than just “this place looks pretty sweet.” Alas, I know less than Jon Snow (spoiler: he knows nothing), so you’ll have to Google it if you really care (I don’t have Internet now, so I can’t. Also I’m lazy). Mr. Boy was our tour guide in as much as he’d take us to a temple or ruins and tell us to find him in the parking lot when we were done and he’d take us to the next place (very helpful, just not informative). The first place we went to was a giant temple with an ice cream cone on top surrounded by smaller but still huge ice cream cones (see what happens when I don’t know things?). At the top of the really steep stairs was a room with six or seven gold Buddhas sitting around. For a small donation, you got a special gold flake that you could stick to one of the Buddhas and receive a wish or good luck or something. Next to the temple was a small shrine with little statues and three… Doraemon (Japanese kids cartoon)? I was not aware that Buddhists worshiped a robotic earless cat from the future, though it would make sense because that pouch is godlike. In a different area, there was one of the famous reclining Buddha’s. For those who are unaware, there are a few giant statues of Buddha in his “draw me like one of your French girls pose” around Bangkok. This one was made out of stone as opposed to the other gold/bronze ones. When exiting one of the temples, two monks walked in followed by about a dozen kids who all seemed to be in training to become monks (or airbenders), with shaved heads and the orange robes. I never knew kids that young did that kind of stuff, so it was really interesting.
After viewing some temples, we were taken to an animal area. As soon as we got out, we saw elephants walking by, one accompanied by her baby. There were three elephant tours available: 30min, 1hr, or 3hrs. We stuck with the 30 minute one. We walked by some sheep and dogs to a room where they had a tiger that you could take your picture with. I felt kind of bad for it, because it was likely drugged out of its mind, though according to some of my friends, that’s really fun. I looked at it the same way I look at eating meat. They’ve already killed the animal and made it into this delicious bacon. If I don’t eat it, someone else will, and me not eating it isn’t going to stop them from making more bacon (though I’m sure there’s been a surplus since I left the country). They make you pose with Rajah by basically lying on top of him. The guy taking the pictures shouted, “One, two, four!” and then took pictures at really weird angles. Like a chimp. While lying on him, I remembered that I’m probably allergic to tigers (never say you’re allergic to cats, say you’re allergic to lions or tigers, it sounds cooler), so I had to be careful not to touch my face to prevent my eyes from getting red and swollen. That’s the real danger. Once our pictures with Shere Khan were done, we went to ride the heffalumps. I apologized in advance for singing Prince Ali for half an hour straight, but it couldn’t be helped. The “driver” sat on Dumbo’s neck, while Maki and I sat in a little seat on its back. He took us to walk around some ruins, then after a while, got off and let me ride on its neck (I felt bad he never let Maki, though). It was surprisingly hard to stay on because of how much its neck muscles moved. One of the other drivers even started singing the Japanese elephant song, which apparently is a thing. I’m assuming he picked it up from all the Japanese tourists who come through. We even got commemorative pictures for free* (included in the price of admission).
For lunch, Mr. Boy took us to a little restaurant on the river. We wondered if it was a really good restaurant, or if he made commissions from it. I got some pork with roasted garlic that was really good. It was slightly expensive buy Thai standards, but the main problem was they didn’t seem to understand the concept of cooking the food so it mostly comes out at the same time. The first wave had most of it except mine and Maki’s. Eventually mine came, but by the time Maki’s came, everyone had finished eating. She didn’t even get anything that complex. At previous restaurants, Maki had ordered something only to be told it was all out. There seemed to be a conspiracy against her. We saw some cool longboats go by, some carrying people, others carrying dirt or sand. You wouldn’t think that’s something you need to transport that far, but whatever. The last place we went to was a temple surrounded by Chedi, which were octagonal pagodas built with four layers, each decorated with a different façade, with the fourth layer being decorated with mini pagodas in alternation with Brahma stucco. Totally awesome, right? There was also a Buddha head that was eaten by surrounded by a tree’s roots. Because it was still the remains of a Buddha, you weren’t allowed to take pictures with you above the face because that’s disrespectful. This temple had even steeper stairs that tested the remains of our leg strength. We struggled and climbed to the top where there was absolutely nothing. Actually, there was a small gold thing in the back face, and the view was cool, but we were tired. There was another set of ruins nearby, which seemed pretty cool, except that it was kind of ruined by the scaffolding surrounding it.
Once we had seen all the cool stuff in Ayutthaya, we headed back to Bangkok for dinner. We went to a pad Thai place that had a huge line out the door and people cooking various meals over the fires outside. The cooks were very efficient, so the line moved really quickly. I wasn’t that hungry, but had a new kind of orange juice there. Imagine orange juice with medium pulp, except all that pulp is actually bits of orange. Also you drink it through a thick straw, so sometimes they just pop up. It was interesting. We found out that they had Uber in Bangkok, so we used that to get to and from the restaurant. However, on the way home, there was some miscommunication about where the hotel was. Luckily we weren’t too far away by the time we noticed.
For our last day, we decided to go and see the floating market. It was quite a distance away, so we asked Mr. Boy to take us again. However, we were up to having 8 of us (not including Mr. Boy), so the truck was a little more cramped this time around. When he picked us up, he wasn’t dressed in his previous cowboy attire. We asked him why not, and he just said it was too hot. We left at around 9 and got there about an hour and a half later. The floating market is a series of small, mostly souvenir shops along a channel that branches in a few areas. Rather than walking around (which you can do at some shops (though we couldn’t)), you get in a long boat and the guide takes you down the river, going from side to side to take you to look at everything. We were told to split into two boats even though we clearly would have fit in one. If you accidentally point at something, he’ll take you there (or the shopkeeper will pull the boat over with one of their hooks). There was a lot of really interesting stuff, however a lot of it was just too big to bring back to Japan. The other problem was that the whole thing is a bartering system. They give you a ridiculous price, and you have to tell them what you’ll actually pay. The problem was that we didn’t know how much over the prices were, so even when we bartered, it likely wasn’t in our favor. At least they were open to the bartering. It wasn’t like Mexico where you go to barter and they just say “screw you,” even though they’re clearly overcharging you. In every case I saw, they accepted the counteroffer. It’s an interesting game because they think they’re ripping you off, but everything is so cheap anyway that you feel like you’re ripping them off. Unfortunately, by this point I was basically out of cash, so I had to be careful to make sure it would last me the rest of the day. One lady was selling cool shot glasses with a “gold” design wrapped around them. I asked how much for a pack of two. She said ฿800. I said ฿500. After a minute she relented. Later that day we were at a different shop and I saw them again. Out of curiosity, I asked how much again. ฿350. Dammit…
While traveling in Thailand, I kept finding myself wondering, “What are these people’s lives?” Everything is so different from anywhere I’ve ever lived that I can’t even comprehend it. It wasn’t like how you picture Saharan Africa or anything, with a seeming lack of most modern conveniences. Most people had smartphones, and a few kids were playing Minecraft on their iPads, but their jobs and lives largely seemed to be just hanging out on this river selling things (mostly to foreigners). A few of the people who were just hanging out in the shops or on the boats were carrying various exotic animals, too. Some guys had massive snakes wrapped around them, and a few even had slow lorises, which are like tarsiers or Furbies. After passing all of the shops, we were taken to a nearby temple to look around a bit. There was another group of golden statues which you could place gold flakes on, but this time we got a few of them for free (we didn’t bother doing it last time because we didn’t want to pay). On the way out there was a gift shop monk selling magically delicious lucky charms that were said to bring health, money, or good grades (or something like that).
We headed back to the docks and met up with Mr. Boy, who was going to take us to the Grand Palace, as well as two other famous temples. We got back around 2:00, which gave us about an hour to look around the Grand Palace before it closed at 3:00… or would have had it not been a holiday and closed at 12:00. Instead we went to the other temple, Wat Pho (Po like the Teletubby, not 4 in Ebonics). Built by King Rama I (whose ashes are still there), Wat Pho is best known for its giant Bronze reclining Buddha (I think it’s the third biggest one). It’s 50ft. tall (15m) and 150ft. (46m) long. Because the room is so tight, however, it’s hard to get a decent picture of it. Originally built about 300 years ago, it’s gone under many restorations. Wat Pho is currently the first of six temples classed as the highest grade of the first-class royal temples (as seemingly described by Trump (go ahead, reread that in his voice)). It’s also known as the birthplace of Thai massage, which is still taught and practiced there.
For lunch we went to a small diner across the street, and by small I mean we took up half of it. In keeping with tradition, Maki’s food came out after everyone else was basically finished despite only ordering fried rice (I tried to wait, but it took too long). Once we had finished, we headed to the final temple: Wat Arun, the Temple of Dawn, better known as Wat Arun Ratchawararam Ratchawaramahawihan. On travel sites, Wat Arun is listed as one of the top places to go along with the palace and the floating market. On travel sites, pictures of Wat Arun also don’t have scaffolding built around the whole thing. I’m not sure why they picked now to do all the construction since it seems to be one of the most popular times (especially with the huge influx of Japanese who come for Golden Week). Also, Mr. Boy said that most of the month is a series of holidays, so who knows when it’ll actually get done. The area around it was still really nice, though, as well as the insides. Named after the Hindu god Aruna, personified as the radiations of the rising sun, Wat Arun is for the way the morning light reflects off the surface with “pearly iridescence.” (I love being able to plagiarize Wikipedia without anyone caring.) Like Wat Pho, Wat Arun was built and restored by the various King Ramas (I, II, III, and Lamadingdong).
After bidding farewell to Mr. Boy, Maki and I finished packing, then got picked up at 8 for our midnight flight (sounds fun, doesn’t it?). The taxi driver (who was the same from before) asked us if we went to the floating market. I hesitantly said yes. Then he asked why I didn’t call him. I said we had too many people. He argued that he had a big van. He was legitimately angry about it. Even when I tipped him at the airport, he took the money with a big scowl on his face. Get over it. Since we hadn’t had much dinner, I knew there wouldn’t be anything good on the plane, and we had time to kill, we looked for a food court near our gate. We found an area with a Burger King, Subway, pizza place, Thai food, and one or two others. I couldn’t decide between BK and pizza until I remembered the words of a young girl who saved her village: “¿Por qué no los dos?” [Why not both?]. It was magical. I miss real American pizza so much it hurts sometimes. Finally, we headed to the gate and got on our six-hour midnight flight, which I knew would be a problem due to my inability to fall asleep on planes. After a movie or two, and trying every sleeping position possible in the cramped middle seat, I was finally able to get around two hours of sleep by using the tray as a desk. We got back around 8:00, and I headed to the ferry that goes straight from the airport to Tsu. When I get there, I see a sign on the door that says they ferries are canceled (one every hour, taking about 45min.). I go inside and ask about it. The lady told me that because of a storm, the ferries won’t start until 10. I looked outside and couldn’t find a single cloud in the sky. Instead of waiting, I just took the express train up to Nagoya and back down to Tsu (which took about twice as long), got home, and passed out for the rest of the day, happy that the next day was another national holiday.
As always, you can view the full photo album here.
Next week I return to Disney to celebrate the 15th anniversary (last time I only celebrated Easter). However, I doubt much has changed, so instead we’ll take a look at the many changes that have occurred elsewhere during the spring. Especially at my job (despite how it seems, I still do that from time to time). How much work do I actually do? What kinds of changes? How many times am I gonna go to Disney? Find out next time on the Gaijin Chronicles! Dah dahh dadahhh da dahh duuhhh.
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