The Gaijin Chronicles

Wk 5 – Gifu: “They call me Plays-with-Squirrels”

By Curtis | Published July 9, 2013

Fun fact: Even Asians can’t always tell each other apart. According to a website that shows people of various Asian backgrounds and asks the user to distinguish between Chinese, Japanese, and Korean, the average score was a mere 7 out of 18. So don’t worry, you’re not racist (well, you might be, but not because you can’t tell them apart (saying “Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these” is not an official method)).

I chose this title knowing full well that Jackie may be the only one who gets the reference.
This week I’m going to apologize to all of the innocent people I may have hurt or killed while swimming due to the powerful gleam that shot from my white chest Pale Force style. My arms are probably the most tan they’ve been in years since it’s much harder to not go outside. Lake Biwa is less than 5 minutes away by bike (of course I’m not walking there), so we can swim pretty much whenever we want. Whenever we tell people that we went swimming there, the usual responses are [really!?], [is that OK?], and [is it clean?] ([] indicates translation). The answer to all of those is yes. It’s like Lake Michigan (Lion’s Park side) except you can see mountains in the background. Also there’s no dropoffs. I haven’t gotten burned again yet (which is kind of unusual nowadays), though I’m getting a farmer’s tan that I’m trying to get rid of.
Japanese places have very interesting choices in the music they play, especially when it comes to American music. There’s pretty much no rap ever (thank God, Buddha, Hylia, Morgan Freeman, etc.), and most of the radio I hear is a mixture of current Japanese songs and almost current American songs. The most common American song I hear now is that one that rips of Take On Me (I get excited when I hear that intro, then realize it’s the crappy one). However, it’s more often the case that they play much older music. One of my friends commented on hearing Beatles music way more often here than in America. The other day when we were waiting outside a restaurant in the mall in the station, I heard a song that I recognized (from Tommy Boy): “Don’t You Remember You Told Me You Loved Me?” followed by Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out for a Hero” (Shrek 2). When we exited the restaurant, “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani was Playing. I prefer older music, so I’m not really complaining, it’s just an interesting thing. Another time, a hamburg restaurant we went to was playing music that had to be from the 50’s at the latest. Even the 7-Eleven has an elevator-style “Daydream Believer” constantly playing.
This week I also learned that Maki actually reads all of this, which is pretty impressive since the last entry was about 3333 words. I almost feel bad because I have a tendency to frequently and verbosely express my inner machinations with innumerable deviations that are often banal and nonsensical to one who’s unfamiliar with such terminology and cultural references (じょうだん笑。よく長い言葉をつかって、ごめんと言う。）

Friday
We went to Gifu, which is close to Nagoya (and where Kanari lives). A station near us had awesome piano stairs that played notes when you walked on them! As usual, by the time we got checked in and down to “downtown” Gifu, most interesting things were closed, so we walked around and checked out this cool street that was meant to look like Japan did a long long time ago. There was even a phone booth that Maki said was hundreds of years old (actually, I (correctly) guessed the age and she replied with, “yeah, sure.” or some equivalent). Near the river there was a maze that you could walk through, but it was only a foot tall (2-3 if you count the bushes), so it wasn’t very hard to cheat at. At first I thought there’d be a tiny Minotaur there (come on, you have to at least heard about the Minotaur’s maze), but when there wasn’t, I realized that it was better for this.

Saturday
Saturday morning we went to Gifu castle, which was on the top of a large hill, so we had to take a gondola up. I was disappointed when I learned that it was the skiing kind and there wouldn’t be a small Japanese man in a beret and a black and white striped shirt. This was the main castle of Oda Nobunaga. Sound familiar? You’re right! He was the first and most b.a. Japanese warlord and the one who first united the many territories (or whatever they were called) of Japan. According to the signs and Maki, Nobunaga invaded a city, changed it’s name to Gifu, took over the castle, and married the daughter of the guy whose castle it was. That is how you conquer Japan (or part of it). Most of the buses had pictures of the warrior version of Nobunaga looking awesome, but in the castle, his portraits seemed a bit “cute” (long eyelashes, kinda flush cheeks, etc.). As we were walking down the mountain, I heard a kid yelling 「やっほー!」(yahoh!). Maki explained that this was what you yelled when there was an echo. The next time he yelled “yahoh,” I did the only reasonable thing and responded with “Polo!” Maki said nobody would get it. I explained I didn’t care and that it was for my own amusement. At the bottom of the castle was the Squirrel Village. At first I didn’t care because I’ve seen a million (not hyperbole, I’ve counted at least that many) squirrels, but it turned out that it wasn’t simply a big park with a ton of squirrels (remember there are almost no wild animals, especially not squirrels). However, it turned out to be a little enclosure filled with 20-30 squirrels (and a rabbit and chipmunk in cages for some reason). You pay $2, then they give you a special gardening/welding glove and when you get inside they sprinkle some squirrel food on it so you can feed them. Normally I’d expect petting zoo-style where they just walk up and eat from your hand, but these are squirrels. Almost immediately one jumped on my arm, tail facing my shoulder, and he started eating (yes he, don’t ask). Another decided that he wanted some food, too, so he jumped on my shirt (again upside down) and tried getting to it. When he couldn’t reach, he turned around, ran over my shoulder and onto my camera bag which was on my back. Unsure of what he was doing back there, I lowered the bag so that he was able to get down. We spent the rest of the time trying to trick the squirrels into thinking we still had food (you could only feed them once because otherwise they’d get full and wouldn’t eat). It worked for a while at first, but then they were too full/lazy to jump on us to check again. On the way back, we saw this really old guy dressed as a samurai. I told Maki that he probably used to be a real samurai. She reminded me that the samurai lived about two hundred years ago. I agreed that that seemed to be how old he was.
After the castle, we started walking to a garden when it started raining. We got there and decided to sit under a roofed pavilion thing. Then it started pouring and thundering (the Raijin (that statue with the hair like Heatmeiser from ‘Year without a Santa’) was angry). We tried shielding ourselves from the rain, but because of the wind, there wasn’t much we could do (we had no umbrella). Although it was a nice break from the 90° heat we’d been experiencing so far, it was very unpleasant. There’s a Japanese word “mushiatsui” which basically means it’s too hot and sticky (twss). Eventually it stopped and I was unable to tell how much of me was wet from sweating and how much was from rain. Near the castle was the last thing we had left to see in Gifu (pretty much, there wasn’t all that much to do): the Daibutsu (giant Buddha). He was more relaxed than most of the Buddhas since I could take his picture (sans flash) and he was giving the OK sign. When he was made thousands (maybe just a few hundred) of years ago, they had to cover the entire body with Buddhist sutras (prayers). However the main Monk there didn’t have many students, so he was forced to travel around Japan collecting them (to collect them was his real test, to build Buddha was his cause). Eventually he did it, but since it took like 25 years to build, he died before it was finished. Around the Buddha were a bunch of little figures that looked like a massive jury and a bunch of pictures that allegedly tell a story. Since Maki didn’t know the story, I had to tell it to her (I just happened to know it and definitely DID NOT make it up ;)). That wasn’t a wink, my smiley avatar got something in his eye.

That night we met with the previous exchange students (sans Kanari) and the girl we’ll host this fall again (again meaning we met them again, not that we’ve hosted her before). Because it was the weekend, we were told that we could only stay at the izakaya for 2 hours, so we’d have to go somewhere else after. After a little more than an hour, a big group of people came and sat at the table next to us and almost all started smoking. I already had a headache and two of the others started coughing, so we left early and went to Purikura (remember that special picture booth that makes people look girly?). They had a bunch of girly magazines so you could mimic the styles, and Shun kept showing me the women and making me guess how old they were. That’s a really hard game (especially after air-brushing). A lot of Japanese chicks don’t look old for a long time. After, most of us went to Starbucks and talked there for the rest of the time. Due to most of the ATM’s being racist, I had not been able to find one that would accept my card and spent my last 450￥ (1¢≈1￥), so I had to start ~~stealing~~ borrowing money until I could find one that worked (the next day). Why didn’t you just use your card? I would have, but Japanese people rarely use card and instead stick to using coins and bills. It’s kind of hard for me to understand that the coin is worth $1, so I think I have a tendency to “waste” them more often than normal dollars (especially at the game centers). I also decided that instead of constantly converting from yen to dollars, I’m just going to pretend that 1￥=$1 and that everyone is super rich (e.g. this hamburger is $1000). Is it really that hard to divide by 100? Someone’s feeling fat and sassy today. No, but when they count in Japanese, they don’t insert the comma after the thousands. Instead they do ten-thousands. Essentially do thousands, ten-thousands. ten-ten-thousands, hundred-ten-thousands, thousand-ten-thousands, hundred-millions, ten-hundred-millions, etc.

Sunday
Even though it was Tanabata (star festival), there weren’t many celebrations going on in the area, so instead we saw Monsters University in Nagoya. The theater was at the top of some mall building, so we had to take a bunch of escalators up to get to it (the elevator was taking way too long). In addition to normal popcorn, you could get a bucket of caramel corn (also waffles). They also had booster seats for the kids, which was a good idea. We saw the version that was English with Japanese subtitles. Once in a while I’d look at the subtitles, but they were in a funky font, so it was kind of hard to read (also there were some kanji I didn’t know). After the movie, we checked out the mall across the street and found some Italian place to eat at (this time I had spaghetti since we had eaten at a pizzeria on Friday). The pizza is good because it’s Itialian pizza, but I miss classic delivery pizza. Also normal bacon :cry:. I started getting a Caesar salad at the restaurant next door because it’s one of the few normal salads, but mostly because there’s little pieces of real bacon! I guess if it makes me eat healthier… I’ve lost almost 7 pounds since I got here, which I don’t notice as much, but I’ve been told “you look like much less of a fata now” a few times (I might be paraphrasing). Luckily for the past month, I’ve had one of the best friends I could ask for helping me through all of this and dealing with a lack of the American food I’m used to. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and I love you, Cap’n Crunch

Next week: I travel to Kanazawa for a three-day weekend (we have school, I’m just skipping (JUST KIDDING MOMMY)). It’s Umi no Hi, which translates as Ocean Day (though I guess is more commonly referred to as Marine Day). Kanazawa is known for a famous garden, Geisha houses, some onsens (outdoor baths), old temples (that are preserved since we managed to not blow them up), and a NINJA TEMPLE!!! Will I go to the onsen? Will the thought of a bunch of old naked Japanese men (no young people ever go) and the heat prevent me from doing it? Will I dress as a Geisha? Will my ninja skills be enough to get me through the temple? Find out next time on The Gaijin Chronicles! Dah dahh dadahhh da dahh duuhhh!

Posted in Home, JCMU | Tagged: Gifu, JCMU. Leave a Comment

Wk 4 – Osaka: 7-Eleven food is delicious!

By Curtis | Published July 2, 2013

Fun fact: Contrary to popular belief, I like to oot (oot oot) ooples, but not banoonoos.

This week I’d like to apologize to my Aunt Debbie for what I just bought my little cousins. To keep it a secret, I won’t say, but can assure her that it’s not a sword, nor is it something that they can hurt each other with (though they usually find a way to anyway).
I’m sure many of you are curious as to the title. The truth is, 7-Eleven food is delicious (except the fries). There are many chains that make it over here, and there’s often a huge disparity between quality and how the food is viewed. McDonald’s and Starbucks are basically the same, but some restaurants like KFC, Big Boy, and places like 7-Eleven are a bit different. Apparently here Big Boy is terrible. KFC can be considered a “nice” meal (in fact, many people eat it on Christmas and it’s not trashy at all). They prepare it better and therefore it doesn’t have the same stigma attached. In America, eating food from a gas station/ convenience store can be tantamount to stabbing yourself in the stomach. However, here, it’s much better. I constantly get the cup soba there (because all I have to do is boil water to prepare it) and it’s one of my favorite things to eat here. It’s not always filling, but I even drink the soup part after eating it (if you just thought “so what”, you don’t know me at all). They also have precooked meals that they’ll heat up there and are actually good (so I’m told, there’s usually mayo or something weird on them (I’m still not that adventurous)). I have yet to try Dominos here, but they put so much weird stuff (squid, mayo, etc.) that I’ll only be able to get cheese (no pepperoni here). The problem with liking all this food (soba, chicken, udon, I’ve even added ramen to things I can eat (since I’m a college student, that shouldn’t be a surprise, but I’m me)) is that when I go home, there’s rarely any “authentic” Japanese food around, so none of it will be as good… We’ll see how much carries over after I return…
Also, if you sometimes think my writing is hard to follow because of all the parentheses, get used to it. You only deal with it when you read this blog, I deal with it all the time (hence my “randomness”). Just imagine how bad it’d be if I did cocaine. It’d be like when the remote gets stuck under a cushion and the channel keeps changing and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
Another weird thing I’ve noticed lately is the almost total lack of wild animals. Other than birds and giant bugs, I rarely see animals just walking around. Cats are the only exception. Today when I was riding home (by myself) from dinner with a friend, the streets barely lit by the surrounding buildings, I see this thing in the middle of the road. As I passed it, I realized it was just a cat looking at me. It was super creepy. But there are no squirrels, raccoon, deer, opossums, etc. Granted, I mostly see those dead on the side of the road, but still. Here, nothing but cats.
Anyway, let’s get to the fun part…

Friday
Instead of class, we divided into groups and visited various elementary schools. Another girl and I visited a group of second graders close by. After meeting in the lobby, a taxi took us to the school. When we first got there, nobody was around, so we walked around until someone realized ‘those are the white people who are coming’. We were led to the principle’s office where we talked until the kids were ready for us. Nobody at the school seemed to speak any English, but luckily my Japanese has gotten good enough where I could understand most of what he said (he was able to use about 8 English words to clarify occasionally) and could formulate a coherent response (<- I sometimes forget that I actually talk like that since I get so used to speaking really basic English to people around here). After about 15 minutes, a little boy and girl came in (followed by their teacher) and introduced themselves, asking us to please follow them (in Japanese, they don't learn any English till about 5th grade). We followed them to the gym where we were greeted by 79 Japanese second graders. I heard many shouts and whispers of "futari gaijin [two foreigners]" and "America-jin? [Are you American?]". The teachers didn't speak English either, so they explained to everyone what we were going to do, and it was up to us to figure it out from there. First they told us that we were gonna do BINGO, which at first I thought meant the game. I quickly realized that we were instead singing the song, which is easy enough (we just sang in English). 5 kids held up the letters with the pronunciation of the letter above it (I'm not sure when they learn English letters), but they were in backwards order (so his dog's name was actually OGNIB, not quite as nice of a ring to it). I'm not really sure if it was the kids' or the teachers' fault, though... After, we had a janken (rock paper scissors) 'tournament'. Half of the kids lined up in three triangles (one kid on top of each, then two, then three, etc.) and the other half gathered to face them and get to the top (except one kid who was just rolling around on the floor (I was later told he was from Bolivia (not as an explanation as to why he was rolling around, but I think that's the reason))). You had to beat a kid in the front row to move on to the second, then third, then face one of the three people in the back row to win. However, if you ever lost, you had to go back to the front row (Elite Four style). I got to the back row once, but then lost. The problem is some of them are big fat cheater cheater pumpkin eaters. They couldn't decide on one, so they waited until after I went, then chose what would beat it (Gary). Unfortunately, you can't accuse foreign second graders of cheating, so I left it alone. I tried facing all the kids, but the ones who didn't face me came up to me afterwards shouting "さいしょはグー、じゃんけんぽん！[Get ready, rock paper scissors!]". At one point, I was facing three or four at a time. Then they switched who was in the triangles and who was facing them. When we were finished and the kids had had enough janken and touching our hands or shoes (touch the white people I guess), we went back to the principle's office for more "try to translate this". At third hour, the kids came back and led us to the classrooms. There were three different classes, so we each went to one, then rotated after a certain amount of time. The teacher showed us how to make origami tulips, so we all made a bunch, then the kids glued them to a big piece of paper that had a big leaf cut out on in and they drew some pictures on it. In the first class, the girl next to me kept fanning herself with her folder and whispering "kakkoii", which is often translated as [cool], but also usually has a connotation of "attractive". If only Japanese girls my age felt the same way... When it was time to go, they all lined up and we shook their hands one by one. A few of the boys tried to shake my hand up and down as hard as they could like they were trying to rip it off. I had to stop myself from squeezing back because I would destroy their hands. After shaking some of the girls' hands, I saw them giggle and whisper things to each other. As we walked by, the kids kept piling on the art projects they made, so I had to hold them with one hand and use the other to shake (until there was a kid with a cast, then I had to switch it all). We were walked back to the exit where our taxi was waiting. When we got back, our teachers were waiting for us and we told them how fun it was (but nothing too specific since we had to do it in Japanese). Then it was time to head for Osaka. Every week I think that I have the train system down and am fully adjusted to it. Every week they throw something new at me as if to say, "Nope." To get to Osaka, I had to take a train to Kyoto, then switch to another that would take me to Osaka. Easy enough. I got on the train in Kyoto and noticed that the seats looked like the nice airplane seats (not business class bed things, just the big international ones). This seemed really weird, so I looked around and saw that it was the "reserved" section. I got off and headed further back. The seats looked less nice, but still a lot different from what I was used to. A lady came by and asked for my ticket (which I didn't have since I use a special card). She then told me (in Japanese) that it was a special train so I had to buy a separate ticket. Luckily it was only about $6.50 because I still had to pay for it with my card... After checking into the hotel, I told Maki I hadn't eaten yet, so I was going to McDonald's (it's the fastest option). On the way there, however, we passed another famous burger chain called Mos Burger and since I'm always looking for opportunities to try new foods (as long as they're hamburgers or pizza (that's not fair, I'm getting better)), I ate there instead. The best description I can come up with was a combination of Wendy's and Culver's (though not near as good as the latter). After my hamburger demon was sated, we tried to visit Tennoji (a shrine), but it was only open for another 20 minutes, so we were politely kicked out and decided to just go the next day. Instead, we went to Osaka Tower. It's like Kyoto Tower, but in Osaka (you're welcome). On the way there we passed a restaurant where the waiters all (I saw two, then extrapolated based on the sign outside) were dressed in red kimonos and makeup that can only be described as like David Bowie in Labyrinth (I’m sorry you had to see that). Apparently for the 100th anniversary of the area around the tower, they were doing a “Kinnikuman project”, which means there were a bunch of statues and a mini museum of stuff from the cartoon Ulitmate Muscle (don’t worry, it is kind of obscure even for kids my age). When the elevator started going up, the lights went dark and the ceiling was made to look like the night sky, but with a colorful outline of one of the ugliest troll-like things (Billiken) I’ve ever seen. At the top, there were various Billiken statues (not sure what they represented) and the main one whose feet you rubbed.

Saturday
We got up and headed to Tennoji (again). On the way there, we pass the zoo where there’s a giant painting of a bunch of animals in wherever in Africa you go on safari. Naturally I started singing, “Naaaaaannnnnnntsss ingoyama bagithi baba!” (Yes, I’ve memorized even that part (though admittedly not the spelling)). Because I know the you so well and can already guess the question you’re going to ask, no, I do not yet know that song in Japanese (admit it, I read your mind (if I didn’t, then you don’t know me well enough)). I used to know most of “Be Prepared”, but have forgotten most of it. Same goes for Aladdin. Anyway, we got to the temple and looked around. Again the weekends seem to be the hottest days. It was at least 27°! Luckily when we got there, there were special pipe things blowing cold mist on us that felt so good. To answer your other question, that’s a little over 81F. I just wanted to screw with you a little, knowing that some might try to look it up, and others would be unsure of whether to keep reading for now or to figure out how hot that actually was. Sorry (not really (I don’t think I was supposed to type that part…)). ANYway, there was a large tower and a bunch of smaller buildings with bells that you could ring after making a wish/praying. We saw some monks there (the religious ones, not Tony Shalhoub (I’ll give you a minute to Google that)) wearing pretty sweet outfits. I wanted one, but apparently I would first have to become a monk. In one of the areas, there was a big statue of a Buddha or someone (sacred, ergo no pics) and a monk was doing one of his chants. He sounded like a human didgeridoo (is that offensive?). We stayed and watched until the incense became too strong for me to handle (I HATE incense). In another building, there was a larger bell (the others looked like large sleigh bells, this was the church kind) that rang occasionally. An old lady inside told (showed) me to put my hands together in a praying motion, clap twice, ring the bell, wait four seconds, ring the bell again, put my left hand in, put my left hand out, put my left hand in again and shake it all about. Maki later explained that the bell was like a phone to one of the gods. I don’t know why the Christian God doesn’t have a phone. He doesn’t even a beeper or Facebook. Maki was happy because this lady was one of the first that day to speak Japanese to her without hesitating. She keeps getting angry that because people see her with me, they assume she’s also American. I explained that that’s a reasonable assumption, but she still doesn’t like it. We tried going into another area, but there was a memorial or something going on, so they didn’t let us in (I honestly think we could have if I was Japanese, they didn’t seem to be checking anything other than that). There was a small raised area with a gate around it filled with rocks. Some of the rocks had kanji written on it (力、大、五）which are the symbols for power, greatness, and… 5. Not sure why one was 5, but if you could find one of each stone, you took them with you and they brought you good luck (conveniently they sold little pouches to hold them (which of course I bought because I like wasting money)). In a separate area, there were three rocks on pedestals (which I immediately likened to picking a starter Pokémon). It’s said that if you picked up a rock then made a wish, if the rock was lighter, your wish would be easy to accomplish. If it seemed heavier, the wish would be more difficult to achieve. On the way back to the main area, there was a giant pond with two wooden islands that was full of turtles.
After a much needed nap, we went to the mall to find desert, but most places were already closing (it was kinda late (10ish) and Japanese places close early. Eventually we found a little kinda Italian place (not kinda Italian like Olive Garden, kinda like they weren’t really trying to look like it). I got some garlic bread (I was a little hungry) and focaccia bread covered in cinnamon and sugar with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. It was amazing. The restaurant even had a large painting of two angel babies that I recognized (and confirmed with Jackie) as being identical to the one in my grandma’s bathroom (which explained why I really had to go all night).

Sunday
We went to Osaka castle. For lunch we just stopped at food stands on the way there. I got chicken, Maki got takoyaki (WARNING: takos are very different from tacos. Tako means octopus). Therefore takoyaki is octopus balls (balls made of octopus, not what you were thinking you weirdo). Osaka Castle is the biggest (Japanese) castle I’ve seen so far, and looks even bigger because of the giant wall underneath it. There was a performer there who was juggling knives while eating apples. Inside the castle was a big museum (as with most other castles). As I was taking pictures of the castle, I realized my camera battery was dying (and my other one was dead). Luckily I found an open outlet on the second floor, so I did what I do best. I sat in front of it pretending to rest while playing my 3DS while waiting for it to charge. About 10 minutes later, I was ready to continue. On the same floor, they had samurai helmets and clothes that you could try on for $3. After pretending to be Tom Cruise in the Last Samurai, we headed upstairs. On the third and fourth floor, no pictures were allowed because that’s usually where the interesting stuff is. Most of it was about Toyotomi Hideyoshi’s life (one of the main warlords again). One of the things stated that to improve morale, he dressed up and pretended to be a melon vendor all day and fully committed to the role. Apparently Nobunaga and another famous guy did similar things when they were leaders. On the fifth floor, they had hologram stories where actors were projected into these small diorama windows. There was an English sign next to each one, so I had a basic idea of what they were saying. At the top was a caged balcony around the castle where you could see some of the city. On the way out we stopped at the gift shop. In it was a special booth where you could win prizes by hitting targets with shurikens (throwing stars). I hit it a few times, but it took time to adjust to it. One day I’ll become a shuriken master… Finally we visited the Umeda Sky building. Near it was a big fountain-like area. Maki asked what it was, to which I joking replied, “A swimming pool!” However, as we got closer, we realized that a bunch of kids actually were swimming in it (it was like 4 inches deep). The Sky Building had what they referred to as the “floating garden”. Therefore I expected either a garden or something floating. However, I was misled. It was still an awesome view of Osaka and at the top you could go on this big donut roof thing and walk around to see everything. Apparently it’s a popular place for couples to get married at and there’s a big banquet hall there.

Again, thank you to everybody who wastes their time reading this. We here at TGC know that you have many options when wasting time and appreciate you choosing us. If you have any comments or suggestions, please let me know.

Next week (7/7) is Tanabata, which is a big festival celebrating the annual coming together of the man and woman star (Altair and Vega), so hopefully there’ll be something where I go (though different cities celebrate it at different times). What will I do for Fourth of July? What about the 7th? Why did I use the number 7 instead of the word? What was that noise? Was it a ghost? Will I be able to keep thinking of questions like this every week? Find out next time on The Gaijin Chronicles! Dah dahh dadahhh da dahh duuhhh.

Posted in Home, JCMU | Tagged: JCMU, Osaka. 3 Comments

Wk 3 – Gamagori: I don’t wanna go home

By Curtis | Published June 25, 2013

Fun Fact: Not only is Mr. Roboto not the national anthem, but most Japanese people have never even heard of it!

So I got bored with just listing the place for a title, so I’m adding titles now. When I first started this blog, I considered doing clever titles, but thought it might be too difficult to keep it up every single time, so we’ll see what I do.
This week’s blog is brought to you by an apology to most of the adults reading this entry (that’s right, I’m doing this like Sesame Street). It’s not that there’s anything inappropriate or childish (at least not more than usual), but the exhibit I went to on Saturday was for Studio Ghibli movies, which you’ve likely never heard of (and then to a science museum). If you haven’t heard of either Totoro, Spirited Away, or Kiki’s Delivery Service (those seem to be the most well known ones in America), you’ll have no idea what I’m talking about. However, next week you’ll get a bonus since on Friday, instead of class, I’m going with one other girl in the class to an elementary school where I’ll sing, play games, and do origami with a bunch of second graders. It’s gonna be awesome if I can understand anything they say.

The longer I stay here, the more racist I can feel myself becoming. It’s a racism I never expected, though in retrospect makes sense because these people are terrible people. I’m of course talking about Americans. “But Curtis, you’re not actually Japanese, you’re white. Like super white. Like other than your dad and gingers, there aren’t many people as pale as you…” I get it, jeeze, that’s not my point. I’ve even talked to some people who agree. The reason I don’t count (as much) is because I’ve been told what is and isn’t acceptable. How to behave, what is polite, etc. Americans by nature are loud, usually obnoxious, and fatties. I even had to work on my volume when I first got here, but I made an effort. At one of the temples we were at last week, it was a thin hall that you walk down and look at. There was an English tour group going through made up of largely Americans. They grouped around and blocked the entire hallway so that the rest of the people couldn’t get through. I actually stood farther back to distance myself from them because I was embarrassed to be associated with these obnoxious people. As I stated before, I’ve always noticed it, but I just dealt with it. Here, it just doesn’t happen (except when the salarymen get too drunk). So when my little world of peace and foreignness is shattered by people who don’t know any better, I become more irritated than I normally would to the same situation. Most of you have heard me use the phrase “I hate people” at least once, but I realize now that it really isn’t all people, it’s just all the ones I’m normally surrounded by.
Again, I don’t think I’m “turning Japanese” (I’m not one of those people), but I’m becoming more and more used to the way things are done here. As I mentioned last week, I never really experienced any culture shock when first getting here, but it’s not just that. Other than when I’m trying to find a restaurant and am irritated by the lack of diversity (read: they don’t have something both Maki AND I will eat (she doesn’t like some of the few Japanese foods I do)), I feel much more calm overall. Maybe it’s because a large part of me views this as a giant vacation (in spite of having to study more now than I ever have my entire life), maybe it’s because I never experience most of my usual stress “triggers”, maybe I’m born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline. Regardless, there are times when I think of what it’ll be like when I go back to America: my job, school, everything, and I find myself thinking, “I don’t wanna go back.” I never for a second would have expected myself to have that thought before I came since I’m so attached to American food and TV (and my family), and I don’t think I could be here for that long, but still. I think it just fits my personality more (my actual personality (the one that surfaces more when I’m tired), not as much the more “hyper” one that I’ve adapted in recent years), other than the lack of sarcasm.

Friday was less eventful than usual. We had an exam, which we all know how much I love. It could’ve been worse (I later rewarded myself with a congratulatory Swiss Cake Roll (Ho-ho), which was good motivation during the test). It was less eventful than usual, mostly looking around at shops and stuff. For dinner we went to a Monkey Café (which was the same chain as the one Maki works at). In spite of my numerous suggestions, they do not actually have monkey waiters, and instead everything is just designed and decorated with monkeys (kind of disappointing). I was reminded that sometimes smoking inside of restaurants is still allowed, however when the smoke continuously blows in your face, grabbing the cigarette and shoving it down their throat is not…

Saturday
We took a 40 min. train then a bus to Lagunasia, which is normally like a small theme/water park. It was connected to a big mall, which was good since I may or may not have forgotten to pack extra shirts (hence my shirt changing between some pictures). They had a few pools with bumper boats, canoes, or for swimming. There was also a stage where they had various performances. The first I saw was of a Kamen Rider fighting the bad guys (think Power Rangers), then there were like 50 Japanese cheerleaders who were [REDACTED]. The reason we went to this park was because of the special Studio Ghibli exhibits that were there. The first thing we did there was Search for Baron (the cat from The Cat Returns and Whisper of the Heart). It was basically a scavenger hunt throughout the park where we were each given a different paper with four clues on it as to the locations of a lifesize cat statue in the park, near which was part of a word. The clues were only slightly beyond my comprehension, so Maki quickly translated them. After finding four clues for each of us (luckily I have super good eyesight), we had to combine them to get the “keyword”, which again was Japanese, so it took some time (especially since one of the words was a restaurant name and not a real word). Eventually we figured out the clues and found the Baron As a reward, we got a little bow tie key-chain with Baron on one side and Jiji on the other. There was a similar thing in a building where you went to different rooms and looked for the Makkurokurosuke (soot sprites) and marked down what color star-thing they were holding. Then we went to the main exhibit. This part will be much more detailed, so I’ll leave the option to skip it for those of you who haven’t seen any of the movies.

Spoiler Inside	Select Show
Shall we set the mood? Though technically this is more appropriate: There were no pics allowed, but I found some that I’ll link to. The exhibit featured Howl, Laputa, Porco Rosso, and Kiki. When you first walk in, there’s a 10 ft. tall recreation of Howl’s moving castle that’s actually moving. There’s also quotes from each movie on the wall, and small dioramas in the wall from the movie. The next room was the main room from Howl. Sophie-baasan, Markl, Howl standing on the stairs, the seal on the floor that moved the castle, Calcifer sitting in the fireplace next to a pan of eggs and bacon, and various spell books on the table. Near it was a doorway that looked onto what appeared to be a massive field (thanks to some mirrors) with the color door changer next to it. When you continue to the next room, you look up and see Sheeta falling from the sky with her locket glowing a little bit. Next to it was a little alleyway where if you closed one eye (to manipulate depth perception), you say Pazu and Sheeta running down the street from the popo. Then you see a of Pazu saving Sheeta. While this pic is nice, it’s nowhere near how amazing it was to be right next to it and see all the details and almost be able to touch it. We just stood there in awe at how amazing it was (even the second time we went). There was even a place where you stand near a recreation of Laputa and look at a nearby TV to simulate (of which I got a folder), but again, no pictures. The Porco Rosso section was a bit smaller, and mainly featured him sitting down reading at the beach with a recreation of his plane next to him, occasionally showing the scene of him taking off on a big see-through screen that normally covered the plane. The final area was Kiki. The first scene is Kiki and Tombo flying on their respective vehicles. Some of the dioramas include the letter she writes to her parents, and a scene of her mom’s greenhouse. After that is the storefront for the bakery she worked at with her and Jiji at the counter. It had another scene that you could pose in with one broomstick and one rope (from the hot air balloon), buuuut no pictures. Finally was an area where you could take pictures, which was the propellerbike scene. Then as you’re walking out, they have the posters for every Ghibli movie, as well as dates, actors, and synopses (and some were signed by Miyazaki himself!).

Spoiler Inside

Select Show

Shall we set the mood?

Though technically this is more appropriate:
There were no pics allowed, but I found some that I’ll link to. The exhibit featured Howl, Laputa, Porco Rosso, and Kiki. When you first walk in, there’s a 10 ft. tall recreation of Howl’s moving castle that’s actually moving. There’s also quotes from each movie on the wall, and small dioramas in the wall from the movie. The next room was the main room from Howl. Sophie-baasan, Markl, Howl standing on the stairs, the seal on the floor that moved the castle, Calcifer sitting in the fireplace next to a pan of eggs and bacon, and various spell books on the table. Near it was a doorway that looked onto what appeared to be a massive field (thanks to some mirrors) with the color door changer next to it. When you continue to the next room, you look up and see Sheeta falling from the sky with her locket glowing a little bit. Next to it was a little alleyway where if you closed one eye (to manipulate depth perception), you say Pazu and Sheeta running down the street from the popo. Then you see a of Pazu saving Sheeta. While this pic is nice, it’s nowhere near how amazing it was to be right next to it and see all the details and almost be able to touch it. We just stood there in awe at how amazing it was (even the second time we went). There was even a place where you stand near a recreation of Laputa and look at a nearby TV to simulate (of which I got a folder), but again, no pictures.

The Porco Rosso section was a bit smaller, and mainly featured him sitting down reading at the beach with a recreation of his plane next to him, occasionally showing the scene of him taking off on a big see-through screen that normally covered the plane. The final area was Kiki. The first scene is Kiki and Tombo flying on their respective vehicles. Some of the dioramas include the letter she writes to her parents, and a scene of her mom’s greenhouse. After that is the storefront for the bakery she worked at with her and Jiji at the counter. It had another scene that you could pose in with one broomstick and one rope (from the hot air balloon), buuuut no pictures. Finally was an area where you could take pictures, which was the propellerbike scene. Then as you’re walking out, they have the posters for every Ghibli movie, as well as dates, actors, and synopses (and some were signed by Miyazaki himself!).

Afterwards, we went on a few roller coasters and had lunch at some café where I had udon. It breaks my usual rule about eating noodles larger than spaghetti, but I can get used to it (especially when I have Coke as a chaser (yes, I need chasers for food)). Before leaving, we stopped at the gift shop. It was like a souvenir paradise (for people who love Ghibli movies). After getting birthday presents and souvenirs for everyone, it ended up being one of my more expensive weekends. For my own protection, I won’t say the amount (though I’m getting a lot of it back) (and technically my mom can just see the credit card statement, but oh well) (if you put two parenthetic remarks next to each other, do you need a space? Are you allowed to do that?), but it was definitely worth it. Once we had done everything, we left the park area and went on a giant Ferris wheel. About halfway up, I realized that my fear of heights returned about two years ago. I’m fine as long as I’m just sitting there, but when I stand up (which I did to take better pictures), I get vivid feelings of some… unpleasant dreams combined with that roller coaster sensation. Either way, the view was awesome. You could see a giant lake and (as usual) some mountains in the distance. Most of Japan is how Austria was; no matter where you are, there are tons of hills and mountains in the skyline.

Sunday
For the first time in weeks, I was able to sleep in (though not as much as I would’ve liked). We headed to the planetarium/science museum, which was right down the street (by pure coincidence… I mean clever planning). We got tickets for a show that would be later that day (the earlier ones were sold out) and went to eat at a kuroneko (black cat) café. Luckily, like the monkey café, there were no actual cats around. They just cut a shape of a cat in the seaweed strip and decorated many of the deserts with cats, as well as decorated the entire place with cats (Tom and Jerry was even playing on one of the TV’s). By this point, my feelings towards plain white rice have risen from disdain to tolerance. We went back to the museum to check out all the exhibits before the planetarium show. It was like a mix of the Curious Kids Museum and the Field Museum in Chicago. Unfortunately, every exhibit was in Japanese, so I was left with my (luckily broad) knowledge of what was going on, and Maki’s attempts at explaining science (her enthusiasm, interest, and knowledge of most science rival my mom’s). I tried explaining many of the exhibits to her, but again, she didn’t care. It then became a game for me to try and make her interested in at least some of the things. She didn’t like when I told her that the shape of a snowflake is math, though she was interested in some of it. Each floor was different and included magnetic experiments, waves (the sound kind), a two-story twister, electronic stuff, dinosaurs, water stuff, and some optical illusions. Are you still there? Wake up! There was also a lot of hands-on stuff. For instance, there was a satellite dish-looking thing that you could talk into on one side of the room, and on the other side, there was an identical dish that would pick up the sound so you could hear it clearly. What I didn’t realize until later was that right in the middle (where people were lining up for a hamster-wheel thing) was actually the best place to hear the stuff (you couldn’t hear it closer to the dishes). This was of course after I sang Maki the chorus from Take On Me and did my best impression of Godzilla. Oh well, I usually think that I can get away with most things because they’ll just think, “stupid American/white boy.” After we had seen everything else, we went to the planetarium show which was, again, all Japanese. I’d listen in for a while, then get tired of translating and tune out, then listen some more. Based on what I remember from my astronomy class (and a little from Latin when he talked about some gods), I was able to understand a lot of things when I heard the English name being used (or their version of the English name). After the show, I had Maki fill in the gaps, so it was actually pretty interesting. Although the dude had a super quiet and relaxing voice, which caused at least one guy to start snoring loudly nearby. After returning to Hikone, I went with some people to a nearby festival. Unfortunately we got there towards the end, so we only saw two performances and then the awards ceremony. You can see most of the last performance here.

Be sure to check out the pictures in the “Gamagori” section. I try putting them in chronological order, but on Flickr it’s reversed, so hopefully it doesn’t make it too difficult.
Next week: I hang out with people more my ~~age~~ maturity and go to Osaka! Will I eat okonomiyaki (probably not, but we’ll see)? Will I learn fun new things from the kids? Are there still TV shows that ask questions like this for the cliffhangers? Find out next time on The Gaijin Chronicles! Dah dahh dadahhh da dahh duuhhh. (Maybe one day I’ll think of an actual tune, but probably not (or I will but won’t remember it by the time I write this)).

Posted in Home, JCMU | Tagged: Gamagori, JCMU. 1 Comment

Weekend 2 – Kyoto

By Curtis | Published June 18, 2013

This week I’m going to apologize to photographers. I have minimal knowledge of how my camera works, and maximum apathy for the rule of thirds and all that. Any following of such rules is merely instinct or coincidence. Also, for a while my camera was on a weir setting where it would include more than what was in the frame or it was crooked, so whatever. Stop complaining so much, you’re getting annoying. Anyway, I also added the pictures from last week that I wasn’t able to access, and added sub categories to the Pictures tab so you can get to them better. The ones for this week are Kyoto, but I also added some that I missed last week from Nagoya, so check out both. I’ll indicate when new pictures have been added to a category since the last blog post. Many don’t have names or descriptions because I’m too busy and also I forgot what some stuff even is. A lot is just nature stuff, anyway. Also, Kyoto is in proper chronological order, but Nagoya isn’t. For the sake of easiness to follow, I’m working to get them all in that order. Now that that’s out of the way…

Are you ready, kids? I can’t hear you! (If you didn’t respond “Aye-aye, Captain!” to either of those, you disappoint me (unless you’re one of the parents, then I don’t really expect it, but I hope now you have the Spongebob theme stuck in your head)).
During the week we returned to Viva City (giant mall). We kind of did our own thing until the end we met at the game center. One of the games was a crane game where you could win a giant box of chips. Normally those games are impossible, but after we figured out the “trick”, we were able to get it twice. See the video (WARNING: quite a few F-bombs, so don’t watch it if you don’t like naughty words or if your mom doesn’t want you to). I just watched the video and realized it was the first time I’ve recently seen a video of me talking. It’s kind of weird… I also played a cool Pokémon game where you got special tokens of Pokémon you’d “caught”, which could later be used at one of those arcade machines to catch more. It’s an awesome money making idea, and I’m sad they never had something like that in America.
I’ve given up thinking that I’ll feel some delayed culture shock. One of my friends commented that she thought I’d been there because I seemed so comfortable with everything. Something from after high school must have triggered that allows me to adapt a lot easier in spite of the fact that I still hate anything ever changing ever. Foodwise, I’ve gotten into my usual pattern of just eating a few things, yet they’re almost all different from my “usual” things in America. We’ll see what carries over… One thing I thought I’d get used to quicker is the driver’s seat being on the opposite side. I keep seeing what I think are neglectful drivers, but then realize that 8 year olds aren’t actually driving. It’s all like Mirror Mode in Mario Kart, everything’s reversed (sorry my references are more for my age today, though a kid dyed his hair and eyebrows black and I said he looked like one of the Munsters. Does that help? Too old? How do I even know who the Munsters are? I honestly don’t know).

Friday
I got out of class and decided to get something to eat before I left. Thinking it would be quickest, I ran to the small restaurant next door. I ate, then realized it had taken longer than I thought, so I rushed to the station on my bike (which was hard because my legs hurt from all the other biking, and it was super hot). I parked my bike at the “garage” thing, then ran to the train. Right as I was reaching the bottom of the stairs, I see the train leaving. At first I was worried because the next train wasn’t coming for about 20 minutes, and I was supposed to meet Maki at Kyoto station. Luckily the next one was a “rapid” train (not bullet train), so I was only about 6 minutes late. First we went to Sanjūsangen-dō, which had 1000 (or 1001, I lost count) statues of the Thousand-armed Kannon. If you wanna see the inside, Google it. I wasn’t allowed to take pictures because it was a religious thing. I think Kannon is just self-conscious, so he doesn’t like getting his picture taken. I feel the same way. I tried explaining that I didn’t believe in Buddhism, so it was ok, but no one seemed to care. Inside I got a special “autograph” book. It’s like the ones you get at Disney, but you get a stamp and special writing for each temple you visit. Also like the Disney ones, I was told that the writing will be different depending on who does it at the temple. They also told us about a dude who was like Robin Hood/Green Arrow/Katniss/Hawkeye and was in a competition where they shoot arrows at a target for 24 straight hours, and he shot over 11,000 and hit the target over 8,000 times.
It was really sunny and hot like last week, however this time I remembered to use sunblock. Apparently the sun doesn’t like my milky white skin as much as the Japanese do… I’ve seen some people wearing those thatched cone China-farmer hats, but unfortunately I left the one I got at Epcot at home, so I can’t wear it (which is probably good, because it almost seems racist when I wear it. Like when we wore tea cups and pony tails for the Chinese song in the Nutcracker in elementary school…). For dinner, we went to a place that was literally (and I don’t use that term loosely) under the train tracks, so the entire place would shake every so often.

Saturday
We ate toast and salad (most of their salads are weird, why can’t I just get a normal Caesar salad? I never thought I’d have to be THIS picky about salad, but a lot of times it’s not even normal lettuce) at the breakfast place in the hotel. I “shocked” Maki when I took the packet of sugar and ate it straight. She said that I can’t do that, and as usual I replied, “of course I can, you just saw me do it.” Engoish is fun. So is English. Why didn’t I just go back and change that, you ask? Because then I’d have to move my hand a bit, and I’m comfortable and lazy, so this was easier. Wasn’t it more work writing all of that down? Probably, but it’s close to 1 a.m., so at this point my brain is more susceptible to incoherent babbling, and since this is my blog, I can force you to read all of it. It’s not like you have anything better to do. Sorry, back to the interesting stuff… First we went to Kinkakuji, the Golden Pavilion. This is the temple you often see in footage of Japan. It usually goes Shibuya Crossing (that big crosswalk in Tokyo that looks like a Japanese Times Square), Mt. Fuji, then Kinkakuji (and some Godzilla and Pokémon clips spliced in). It was a little cloudy, but it looked awesome. Near it was a smaller shrine where you could go throw money in a big donation box, ring some gong, say a prayer, and it would bring good luck. There was also a fun game where you tried to throw coins into a small pot. I hit the rim twice, but never actually made it. I was then told that it wasn’t actually a game, and it was another good luck/special prayer thing. That place is a money sink, and as I had no access to my own money sink (the kind where you turn the faucet and money comes out), I ended up being completely broke by the end of the day, so many of my activities were sponsored by Maki until I could find an ATM that worked for me. Next was Ryoanji, famous for it’s rock garden. There were 15 rocks and only one place where it was possible to see them all. We found the spot, though it was near impossible to take a picture because it was too wide and panorama looks weird. By the time we got to the next set of smaller temples, it had started to rain pretty hard. Since I hadn’t bought an umbrella that had a sword handle yet, I shared Maki’s. The next place had a few small shrines that we visited. Apparently it was the birthday of the guy who built one of the temples, so there was a special shrine, and I got a special stamp for my book. These temples weren’t as famous, but I took pictures of the explanations, so you can read those if you’re a nerd. The last temple we went to for the day was almost like a monk campus with various sub-temples. The main ones we went to were a temple with a giant dragon painting on the ceiling, and a bathhouse that was “dedicated” to the guy who killed Oda Nobunaga (the badass samurai warlord who conquered and united all of Japan). Again, we couldn’t take pictures of the dragon painting because it was a “national treasure”, yet . Again I explained that that was exactly why I wanted a picture of it. It was almost like the Sistine Chapel, but way more awesome cause dragons are cool. Depending on where you stood in the room, your perception of the dragon changed. On one side, it seemed to be coming from the sky, while on the opposite it seemed to be returning there. On one side, his eye appeared to be peaceful and happy, while on the other it seemed to be angry. It had taken 8 years to paint, and it’s even though it was painted X hundred years ago, it has never had to be restored. The colors are much duller than they used to be, but it still looked great. The whole tour was in Japanese, but I was able to read about a lot of it, and get occasional translations from Maki. There was also a bell that rang in the “Haung tone”, which is said to be the most beautiful tone. The original has a crack (unfortunately, Davy Crockett was not around to patch it up as he did the Liberty Bell (you forgot that song existed, didn’t you?)) so they use a replica and put the original on display along with a recording of it. Afterwards, we headed to the bus station, and once I got there decided to look for a place to go to dinner. I reached for my phone aaaaaannnnnnd it’s gone. Thankfully I’m the most calm and rational out of all my siblings (you know who you are), so after calming myself, I decided to go back to the temple we had just come from. On the way, my head was more clear and I remembered the Find My iPhone app. It was exactly where I expected, but the temple was closing soon (if it hadn’t already closed), so I had to rush. Once I got there, a lady saw me and yelled, “携帯電話？[cell phone?]” I followed her back to the office where they kept it and was thankful that I was in Japan where it’s 100x less likely that someone would steal it. My guess is that it slipped out of my pocket while I was sitting down. We went to dinner at a restaurant near Kyoto Tower which I let Maki pick and told her I’d just find something (and if not, I knew McDonald’s was right downstairs (though it closes at 9!! What kind of terrible place is this that Mickey Dee’s closes at 9 p.m.!?)). She showed me what she was getting, and I considered trying some, so I asked what it was. “Tongue” was her reply. I immediately knew I would not be trying it. “What kind of tongue?” “Horse”. She later realized that she had misspoken and it was actually cow tongue (as if that makes it much better). I explained that my refusal to eat tongue wasn’t my pickiness, but rather my Americanness. I said that most Americans would never eat tongue, not just me.

Sunday
I woke up my now usual time of 8:30 (I often cry myself to sleep knowing that I have to get up so early even on the weekend). We went to Kiyomizu Temple; here’s some useful tidbits from my good friend Wikipedia: 「The popular expression “to jump off the stage at Kiyomizu” is the Japanese equivalent of the English expression “to take the plunge”. This refers to an Edo period tradition that held that, if one were to survive a 13m jump from the stage, one’s wish would be granted. Two hundred thirty-four jumps were recorded in the Edo period and, of those, 85.4% survived. The practice is now prohibited. Beneath the main hall is the Otowa waterfall, where three channels of water fall into a pond. Visitors can catch and drink the water, which is believed to have wish-granting powers.」 I saw some guys dressed in tight shorty shorts (not unlike HG ) and they were ripped. I later realized they were rickshaw drivers who would take people up the hill to the temple. The two roads leading to and from it are filled with souvenir shops. Luckily I’m very frugal and would never waste money on frivolous things. Hahahaha, just kidding, I got an awesome demon mask. I still have to figure out if it’s a specific demon… At all the temples, there are slips of paper called ‘omikuji’, which are like more detailed fortune cookies (but without the food). Maki gave me one a long time ago, and by coincidence it was the best possible. She got mad that it was better than hers. We had gotten two the day before (because it’s like a video game apparently; if you don’t like what you get, you just restart and try again. Both of my first two were normal, ok ones. But today I got the best one again (they’re not super rare, but not common at all, like a holographic Charizard)! If you get a bad one, you tie it to a special rack to get rid of the bad luck. In one of the buildings, you went in this basement and it was pitch dark. It was supposed to represent coming out of a womb or something. At the end was a big rock with a symbol carved in it, so you touch it and make a wish/prayer. In the main building, there was another donation box in front of a shrine where people would say prayers, and a drum that you sit in front of and just relax and receive luck or a blessing (it’s hard to keep track of what each thing gives…) and then hit the drum (not too hard, I was told). Luckily I’ve been practicing just sitting there and relaxing for years, so in spite of my occasional hyperactivity, this was an easy task. I’ve been to so many shrines and temples that I’m probably an unofficial Buddhist by now. Since I rarely go to church, if God gets too mad at me, now hopefully Buddha will put in a good word for me. I also saw some witches. I know that they were witches because they were gathered around a smoking cauldron. Also, one of them turned me into a newt. …I got better. At one of the entrances were three metal objects of various weight. Picking them up was, again, good luck (and yes, I believe this all stacks). Thinking I was stronger than I actually am, I tried the heaviest one (in spite of just seeing 4 middle school kids have to work together to do it). The main part of Kiyomizu (other than the view) was the special water that you drink from. For germaphobes, they had cups that you could buy and drink from. For everyone else, it was like a cup on the end of one of those golf ball retrievers. You put it under the falling water, pour it in your hand, then drink it. When you’re done, you put the cup thing in a UV cleaning thing to kill the germs. Then 2 other dudes helped so that we were able to pull it up. Since we weren’t too hungry and we didn’t want to eat when everyone else was, we first got kakigori (snow cone). I got strawberry, but it tasted more like cotton candy! It’s way better than American snow cones. In one of the souvenir shops, I saw the greatest two items ever. One was a pillow that says “Pee” (in Japanese it would be ‘pay’, if you don’t know that, review the “Learn” Japanese tab, but it was in English, so it’s pee), and the other was a golden swirly poo! In another, I got in trouble for taking pictures of some weapons, but it wasn’t my fault because the No Pictures sign was hidden. What am I gonna do with the pictures? Anyone can walk in and see them. Unless they’re afraid it’s like Best Buy and I’ll just buy them online…

Where will Curtis go next? What will he waste his money on? Who is the Phantom Renegade? Why is he asking all these questions? Find out next time on The Gaijin Chronicles! Dah dahh dadahhh da dahh duuhhh. (I made that song up, like it?)

Posted in Home, JCMU | Tagged: JCMU, Kyoto. 4 Comments

Weekend 1 – Nagoya

By Curtis | Published June 11, 2013

As my classes begin, I’m starting to realize how much work it’ll be, regardless of it mostly being review. Because of this, in spite of how exciting I’m sure it’d be to write and read about every little thing I do every day, my entries will mostly focus on the weekends, and random details of that week. Otherwise there’ll be way too much repetition. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but sometimes those words aren’t good enough and I have to add some, so remember to check the descriptions of the pictures (bottom left on Flickr) for more information about both the places themselves and what I’m doing there. I try not to make this too long, so I do general descriptions, and then add more explanations (and sarcasm) when I upload the pictures (also a lot of times I just plain forget things). Also, thanks for all the nice comments both on the blog and elsewhere. Some pictures are currently missing, but they will be up soon.

Friday
There are many interesting things about the bugs and animals in Japan. Many of them are much bigger than here, and many are something I’ve never seen or heard. As I was waking up, I heard the call of a ghetto crow. I know it was ghetto not because it was black (that’d be racist), but because it kept cawing, “Awwwww, hell naw! Hell naw! Awwwww, hell naw! Hell naw!” I hope to one day document this fascinating creature. Our class got out early (noon) as it will every Friday. I quickly finished packing (and by that I of course mean did all of it, but I sound less lazy if I imply I had put some effort towards it previously, you know how it is), and started on the 15 minute bike ride for the station. About halfway there, I realized I had forgotten my camera, and my legs were already burning and I wanted to get there ASAP, so I just called Maki and asked her to bring hers. [As a result of this, there will be a slight delay of pictures as I couldn’t use her memory card.] Once I got to the station, I realized I had no idea how to buy a train ticket. Luckily as I was staring dumbfounded at the screen (I had at least been able to switch it to English), a girl from JCMU came up behind me and helped. I got to the next station and switched trains, but again realized I had no idea what to do after that. I asked some Japanese people, who explained it as best they could, but in the end I had to again refer to Maki. About an hour later, I finally met Maki at the station. It was a little weird at first since I’m used to seeing her on Skype now. It’s like a video game character coming to life, which aside from Disney has only happened once or twice for my (btw, Donkey Kong is an a-hole who takes too many breaks from taking pictures with people). However, I quickly got used to it. We met all the other previous Nanzan exchange students at an izakaya, which if you haven’t already Googled it, is a restaurant where everyone orders together and everyone can eat a little bit of other people’s meals. I had realized earlier that I had eaten very little that day, and it was the first time my stomach had expressed its dislike of this new setting. I also realized that I was dehydrated, but luckily there was a sign in the hotel bathroom that clarified that “this water be good to drink”. By the end of the weekend, I think I spent as much money on water as souvenirs. Knowing that returning my stomach to a baseline was a priority, I resorted to eating mostly American food that I knew I could handle. Luckily I had chosen this izakaya for that exact purpose, and ordered some fried potatoes and an onion ring tree. Along with the previous exchange students that I nurtured throughout the past two years, I met the girl who we will host this year (the other girl who will come was sick). We explained to her all the things she can expect (strangely shaped fat people, everyone being late, us laughing at some English mistakes because of how cute/hilarious they are, etc.) and asked what she wanted to do. She immediately declared that she wanted to go camping, which is good because my family camps all the time. …I’m being told that a few bugs getting into our hotel room doesn’t count as camping. Well, I’ll find somewhere to go. I wonder if we can camp in the state park across the street… Anyway, I had a lot of fun (especially since everyone had agreed to try to stick with English, which they MOSTLY did), however, none of us remembered to take pictures, so I’ll have to take extra next time we meet.

Saturday
We woke up at about 8 (no, you didn’t misread that. I woke up at 8 on a Saturday. I only agreed to it because I knew I’d wake up out of habit anyway, though I ended up falling back asleep briefly) and went to the Krispy Kreme that I had seen at the station the night before (I was still sticking with Americana for the day), then took the train to Nagoya Castle (Nagoya-jou). The weather was a beautiful but awful sunny and 80°ish (why is it so hard to type °? I use it way more than the squiggly (I know it’s a tilde, but this is America (well THIS isn’t, but you get it), we don’t use tildes). Right as we got there, it was being announced that there would be a special performance in a few minutes. I was told that it was like a boy band who dressed up as the ancient warlords Ieyasu, Hideyoshi, Nobunaga, and a few others (they were responsible for uniting Japan during the samurai times, like a samurai George Washington). I was also told that they were all very attractive. Two older Japanese women squealed when their favorite came out (this was all outside, but there was a curtain). My favorite was the one in red, he was kakkoii (cool/hot). After some cool fight scenes a la Power Rangers and a dance or two (and some Japanese that I couldn’t understand, but I could more or less guess was dramatic samurai dialogue), we went to see the actual castle. There was a new section that they had recently added. It was a small temple-looking building connected to a giant warehouse. Inside it was a giant path that took you through what the halls of the temple looked like (though there was one or two places where you could see through to the warehouse area (which I was told not to look at)). Everything was gold painted and there were tigers everywhere (I’m assuming the emperor was a big fan of Frosted Flakes), which gave me some room decoration ideas… Then we went to the main tower. Inside that was a museum that showed the process of making the castle along with a few mini models. There was even a giant shachi (a giant golden fish that’s on top of the temple) to take a picture on, and a giant “stone” block with a rope attached used to simulate how difficult it was to drag the stones around. Some guy got the meter to about 10, so I immediately new I had to beat him. Some Japanese people were watching, and when I got it to over 30, I heard a few comments of “sugoi”, which loosely translates to “wow, look at how strong that cute white boy is” (I said loosely). We got to the top (7 floors) which had an amazing view of most of Nagoya. As we were leaving, we grabbed some lunch from one of the many stands that were there for some celebration. Still recovering, I went to a fry booth where I got a basket of giant fries that were at least 9 inches long. I even saw a “dessert fry”, which was a basket of fries covered in chocolate and caramel syrup (unfortunately I wasn’t in a position to try such an adventurous meal). We then headed to Tokugawa garden near Ozone (which of course is best known for both protecting us from the evil sun and for being responsible for this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60og9gwKh1o It was also amazing (look at the pictures). On the way back to the station, we were too tired and almost sick to walk all the way back, so we took a taxi who complained to us that it was so close and if we were gonna take a taxi, we should take it all the way instead of the subway (it wasn’t close when you were walking, just driving, but it was a $5 flat fee, so who cares. Also, I had a subway day pass that I needed to use at least one more time). For dinner, we found a nice Italian restaurant. I considered getting spaghetti, but it had been like a week since I’d eaten pizza, so I got that.

Sunday
Today we had breakfast at the hotel, which consisted of yogurt and a million types of bread. One was basically a chocolate chip pancake breadstick, which was cool, though there was no syrup. We went to the Tokugawa Art Museum (which we later realized was RIGHT next door to the garden). It had a bunch of stuff belonging to the Tokugawa family like Ieyasu (main Japanese warlord dude) and they even had some of the original Tales of Genji, but they were too delicate to be put on display, so instead there was a copy. Also, we weren’t allowed to take pictures, so I took pictures of some postcards that had pictures of what we saw… We went to Nagoya station for lunch, which wasn’t a great idea considering the time. I was more open to Japanese food, but we ended up going to a restaurant that served hamburg steak. おいしかったよ　[It was delicious]. It was so soft that I could cut through it with chopsticks. I got it with some garlic sauce, and it came with a side of fries (only like 4) and spaghetti (which was undercooked). When I got back to Hikone, I finished some homework, and then we went to a small bar for one of the girl’s birthday. I ate white rice (without sauce!), fried chicken, and more fries (honestly everywhere in Japan makes delicious fries).

Monday
Some of the Japanese kids from Shiga University took us to a giant mall called Viva City. Inside were tons of stores, including a grocery store, a bowling alley, a movie theater, karaoke, and a Game Center (think Dave & Busters but with Mario and Pokémon (yes, I’ve memorized the alt code for é)). While there, we got did the purikura (it’s a special photo booth that makes you and your friends prettier (thinner face, optional bigger eyes, blush, whiter features, etc. Then you can add special stickers and write fun stuff). Later we finally at the restaurant next door called Coco’s. The first time I got another hamburg steak, and the second time (the second time was supposed to be for dessert, but we got hungry) I got fried chicken, sausage, and more fries (it’s a combo meal, and yes, that’s two things I didn’t used to eat). I just realized this one was food heavy, but all I’ve been doing is eating and doing homework. Even though it’s all review, we keep getting a ton of homework, and they’re pickier than any teacher I’ve ever had.

Posted in Home, JCMU | Tagged: JCMU, Nagoya. 1 Comment

First week

By Curtis | Published June 6, 2013

I’m going to apologize to OCD people for my lack of verb tense agreement. I’m writing different things at different times, and also I don’t care. If you wonder why I use so many parentheses, it’s just because that’s how my brain works and makes it easier for you to keep track of important stuff. As a wise philosopher once said, “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” -Patrick Star

Tuesday
I woke up at about 6:45 the first morning, in spite of not needing to go to breakfast until 8:30. I thought it was a lot later because of how bright it was, but I was wrong… Deciding that I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, I just screwed around on my computer until breakfast. They served us a traditional Japanese breakfast of what I believe they called “donuts” and orange juice. Then we had an orientation where they described the super complicated trash system. You have to separate burnables, non-burnables, bottled water (but you have to put the cap in the non-burnables along with the wrapper, unless the wrapper is paper, then you have to put it in the burnables), and cans and glass bottles (which each get separate baskets). Then we picked out our bikes and awesome helmets, which are mandatory to wear ’cause it’s the law, though I’ve yet to see a Japanese person wear a helmet… Also you can’t eat, text, or hold an umbrella while riding your bike (again, something not followed by most Japanese, but they insist that we somehow stick out from the natives and will always find out if we break the rules). I’ve deemed the easiest solution to this problem to just buy an umbrella hat when it rains. Maybe also one of those harmonica neck holders, but for hamburgers… We split into groups for a bike tour where we were shown the post office/ATM, a large supermarket, and a restaurant. If you are not currently sitting down, I suggest you do so for this next part (although who stands at a computer? Weirdo. I guess maybe you’re using your phone…). I had spring rolls (not surprising) and soba noodles! That’s right, I ate noodles that weren’t spaghetti and I kind of liked it. I’ll give you a minute to recover from that… You good? Ok. Later that day we returned to the store, which is basically a Meijer and got the rest of what we remembered we needed (we forgot plenty and needed to go back the next day). I went to bed earlier that night than I have since I was like 8.

Wednesday
I woke up in the morning feelin’ like P. Diddy, assuming P. Diddy (or whatever he’s called nowadays) doesn’t want to get out of bed no matter how much sleep he got. We had our placement test that morning, and I only kind of followed my dad’s advice to “just bomb it”. Most of us ended up in level 2, which is Genki II, which might get super repetitive, but I guess we can appeal to move up a level, we’ll see. During lunch there was an… incident involving a small fire in the kitchen and the use of a fire extinguisher. Fun facts: these fire extinguishers automatically spray for 10-15 seconds and can’t be stop. Also, a giant pink cloud will envelop everything in both the kitchen and the rooms, covering literally everything (and I never misuse ‘literally’). I just left and watched some interesting game shows until the dust settled and I could get to my stuff. Later we had to move rooms, and as I was falling asleep, I discovered that the previous tenant had left five or six glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, which was awesome. We had another orientation covering the different temples and mini cruise ship (called “Michigan”) around Hikone, as well as what to do in case of an earthquake or fire and how to prevent it (just a little bit late). A bigger group of us returned to the grocery store where we had to decide what to eat for lunch since it was 4:00 and we hadn’t had much. We went to a small restaurant in the food court called Makudonarudo, which roughly translates as McDonald’s (surprisingly I was not the biggest advocate of this option, though I obviously didn’t object). Japanese McDonald’s (hereby referred to as Makku) is even better than the American one. They make the fries closer how they used to be, and the burgers taste about the same. I even ordered in Japanese! I almost laughed when she handed me this small ketchup packet (about as much as 2-3 of the normal ones). I wanted to explain that I was American and therefore needed half a gallon, but I knew she wouldn’t understand that measurement, so I accepted it. We went back and did our homework (potential form! 難しい！笑）, then watched the first half of Spirited Away (go watch it, it’s awesome. It’s like a Disney movie) before going to bed.

Thursday
At 9:10, I started my first class with Yagi-sensei. Just like my last name (assuming you’re a telemarketer and don’t actually know how it’s pronounced). It wasn’t too bad, but I have the same problems as I do in my normal Japanese class (anyone who sits near me should know EXACTLY what that means, as should anyone who is aware of how kind and patient I am when I’m stressed). Interjection: I just realized there’s no dishwasher, so now I will be eating everything with my hands (yes, including drinks, I’ll cup my hands or go find tree stars like in Land Before Time (Yes, that was a pretty obscure reference even for me)). Anyway, class is from 9:10 till 2 with about an hour break for lunch except on Friday we get out at noon! The class is broken up into four sections with 10 minute breaks in between and often a different teacher handling each section. I decided to stay in level 2 because then it’ll be a lot less stressful and I’ll get everything more solid, like educational fiber. If I have extra time, I can always check out some Tobira kanji and stuff, or I’ll learn important things when I meet with everyone (previous and future exchange students). We had a fire drill where we shouted “kajida! [fire]”, but most people were not believable at all. I was the most convincing. Then we went to Hikone castle, but it was pretty much closed, although we still got an awesome view (see the Pictures section or my Facebook/Flickr). There were tons of stairs, which I immediately regretted climbing the first few quickly. We saw a guy carrying 3 big cartons of drinks for the vending machines on his back. It was impressive, but I felt bad for him. Hikone’s mascot is named Hikonyan (“nyan” means “meow”), so there’s tons of pictures and toys of him all around. On the way back, we went to 7Eleven (which are way nicer here, and I found some Japanese Pringles called Chip Star!), a grocery store that was closer to Rogers or a small Kroger (I’ve shopped every day so far, so why stop there?). I think I’ve biked and done more cardio in these past three days than I’ve done in the past three years. At night we were told there’d be fireworks by the lake. It turns out some of the local students had just bought some sparklers and (driveway) fireworks. I think the original idea was for them to take some girls, but everyone else tagged along. Then they came back and we played some Mario Kart Double Dash (which I whooped them in).

Tomorrow I’m meeting all my friends for dinner in Nagoya, then going to another castle and other sightseeing stuff, so I’ll try to post pictures if I get Internet in the hotel. I’d also like to point out that I know nothing about my camera yet, so they’ll probably only be awesome because of what they’re of. They’ll get better (or not, they’re not that bad).

Posted in Home, JCMU | Tagged: Hikone, JCMU. 3 Comments

My arrival

By Curtis | Published June 3, 2013

TSA pre-check is one of the greatest things ever, I highly recommend getting it if you fly even kind of often. The TSA agent told me, “all you have to do is not beep”. Just like the good old days. Once getting through security and enjoying my final dining experience of Burger King (yes, dining experience), I went through the magical doors to the Sky Club because I could. The lady looked at my passport, and then asked, “Are you 21?” I’m 22, she had my passport; the math isn’t that complicated. I proceeded up the magic elevator where there was a bunch of fancy looking people and a few kids (you had to be 21 to be unaccompanied). There was a coffee/hot cocoa machine, orange juice, Nutella, Biscoff (airport cookies), and juice (somewhere there was wine, too). I sat down and enjoyed my hot chocolate, appalled at the lack of drinking etiquette around me (when in doubt, pinky out!). After I finished my drink, I joined the rest of the JCMU kids waiting for the plane. We boarded and I marveled at the awesomeness of my seat, and right as I was settling in, we were informed that we needed to deplane so they could fix something. They said it would take half an hour. About 45 minutes later, we got back on and started the 13 hour flight to Japan. Everyone talks about how cute Japanese stewardesses are, but apparently that’s just flights within Japan, because we got an older black guy and a Filipino lady. After looking through the menu of stuff I wouldn’t eat, I ordered some chicken and waited until I could enjoy the ice cream sundae for desert. I had Cap’n Crunch, and I ate half the chicken and a salad, so I was fine. I watched Ruroni Kenshin (English subs) and Brides Maids, then decided that I should try to sleep. It was about 10:30, which is the earliest I’ve ever tried going to bed in a long time. I got a total of 3-4 hours of sleep, often being awakened by chinking of dishes or opening of an overhead compartment. At about 4 am EST, they served people breakfast. Irritated at the lights being back on, I pretended to sleep for another 40 minutes before eating a croissant, some grapes, OJ, and more Cap’n Crunch. I started watching Aladdin in Japanese (which I have on DVD, but didn’t bring) and watched until the end of the first song when I decided to skip to the Cave of Wonders. I was interrupted by some flight thing literally a second before Genie started singing. I was going to throw a fit, but then the movie started again. I got through Friend Like Me before we had to turn them off for landing, so I was pacified. The problem with the announcements is that because the flight was also going to Manilla, Philippines (which I believe is where they make all of those envelopes), they said the announcements in English, then Japanese, then Tagalong (yes, like the Girl Scout cookies). I’m pretty sure Tagalog’s not even a real language, because the announcements usually sounded like, “ldsalk sadlkfjasjf wheelchair loienslk eljflskj lkej stroller pafecna dpew ne business class.” After going through customs (which was basically just we got sniffed by a dog a few times), we waited for some girl who didn’t show up, then got on a fancy bus with chandeliers to Shiga. We got our room assignments, and then I started unpacking until I got lazy and just decided to go to bed. Tomorrow we have breakfast at 8:30, then orientation at 9 because jetlag doesn’t exist and this program is run by Satan. Speaking of dyslexia, on the way here I saw a hotel called Hotel Christmas and Santa was on the roof. It was interesting.
Also, the website is now fully opened, so there’s a lot more FAQs and other pages, and you can comment and all that fun stuff.

Posted in Home, JCMU | 1 Comment

Welcome to the Gaijin Chronicles!

By Curtis | Published May 26, 2013

Welcome to the Gaijin Chronicles (temporarily the Kentucky Chronicles). Throughout my stay in Japan this summer, this will be my blog. I considered doing a normal blog site, but those are too boring and I have a bunch of free time and knowledge. When the full website launches in one week, there will be even more FAQ’s, a comprehensive map of Japan and where I am each weekend, and much more!

As a test run, I decided to recount my journey to Kentucky, but I didn’t do much interesting other than see my new house (which most of us won’t be moving into for another year) and see an awesome comedian. If you haven’t taken the tour of my new house, you can click on the picture at the top of the page and you will be taken to my Flickr page. As far as the denizens of Kentucky go, I only saw a few tractors driving on the highway, and only noticed a minimum number of people with missing teeth. I guess we’re in the fancy part of Kentucky. A giant Jiff factory is near here, and I’m told the area smells of peanuts. Delicious.

Anyway, I expect to be updating my blog at least every weekend. I will have occasional notifications through Facebook, but your best bet is to just check back every once in a while or sign up for notifications of when I do something worth talking about. You can do so over on the right. Be sure to let me know what you think, and much like China, the bad Korea and Fox News, I have free range to only allow comments that please me Also, if you have any other ideas for the site, let me know.

CONTENT WARNING!: Heavy sarcasm will be used throughout my blog and should not be viewed by those who have no sense of humor or don’t know my personality. Japanese don’t use sarcasm, so I’ll be backed up from holding it in all the time. This is my outlet. HOWEVER, my blog will be PG13 tops so all of my friends and family can read it. Maybe later there’ll be a section in the “back”, but that will be blocked of with a curtain or whatever they do at family video. I’ll just ask a question about a cassette tape or a VCR or something, that way kids won’t be able to access it. We’ll see.

My first post will probably focus on my plane ride there, and due to my usual inability to fall asleep on a plane, I could be up for 30-something hours. I might go crazy, but it’ll be fun. Also follow me on Twitter for more frequent updates @Baconmaster120. Be warned that my Twitter may not be as “censored” as this blog.

Posted in Home | Leave a Comment

This is a test

By admin | Published April 6, 2013

In spite of what the above said, this is not a test.

[caption id="attachment_14" align="alignnone" width="199"]

Hard Gay![/caption]

Posted in Home | Leave a Comment

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: